Spring forward to a new mindset
It’s that time of year when new life springs to action in the nature all around us. Here in the UK we put the clocks forward an hour, making it lighter for longer in the evenings. Some of us might even feel the urge to clean which must be where the old saying ‘spring cleaning’ comes from. A question for you…Do we need to spring clean our mindset?
What is mindset?
The definition of mindset is ‘the established set of attitudes held by someone’. This kind of makes out that once your mind has agreed to how things should be then that’s it. For some that is the case…they are fixed in their thinking and are very reluctant to deviate from it. For others however they can see that this way of thinking can limit them from expanding and learning new ways of being and growing.
If the fixed set of attitudes have not been questioned or changed from months or years ago they are, no doubt, well ‘out of date’ and maybe do not serve you well in the present time and place that you’re in.
How we see mindset is that it is up to each and every one of us as to how we choose to think and respond. Take a moment’s pause and really think about that word we’ve just used ‘choose’. Because we choose one of two things…to see things positively or to see things negatively.
…for example, ~ feeling snappy towards your partner because they have not pressed the microwaves delete button for the unused seconds after warming something up, so the display keeps flashing…or …the annoyance you might experience from the dishwasher not being stacked the way you like it to be.
It is good to make you laugh and giggle a bit at this point…maybe there are lots more examples you can think about which would be even more comical ~ especially if you tried to tell a friend over a coffee.
You might think we’ve digressed from mindset a bit, but have we?
It’s all about how you choose to think…so there we go again…the word ‘choose’. For us the word choose is the bridge between being positive or negative and the question you need to ask yourself when you cross the ‘choose’ bridge is… what is the payoff waiting for you at each end of the bridge?
How do you achieve a positive mindset?
Well, you can’t change what you don’t know ~ So what does that mean?
Awareness. Would you say that you’re aware of the words that you’re saying to yourself on a regular basis? Just take a moment to think about that. What are the phrases that you’re using? So, we’re looking for that awareness…how do you talk to yourself?
Do any of these common thoughts resonate? … ‘I’m useless’ ~ ‘I’m a burden’ ~ ‘I’m the first one to the biscuit tin’ ~ ‘I’m so clumsy’ ~ ‘I’m the size of a house’ ~ ‘I’m such an idiot’ ~ ‘I’ve got a memory like a sieve’ ~ ‘I’m never on time’ ~ ‘I’m a waste of space’ or even…’I’m broken’.
The mind responds to the words you say and the pictures that you make in your head and it also does what it thinks you want it to do. In fact, the mind does not care if what you say is good, bad, indifferent, true, false, healthy, unhealthy, right or wrong… it simply lets it in.
Whatever the mind lets in, creates the mindset! Positive words = positive mindset – negative words = negative mindset.
So, let’s have a play at flipping these thoughts… ‘I’ve got this, I have excellent skills to achieve what I want’ ~ ‘I am worthy’ ~ ‘I can choose to have a biscuit or not’ ~ ‘I am so coordinated’ ~ ‘I love my body’ ~ ‘I am clever and intelligent’ ~ ‘I’ve got a memory like Google’ ~ ‘I always have plenty of time’ – ‘I am valued’ – ‘I am whole and in charge’
Even if you feel that these phrases aren’t true, saying them repeatedly will allow your mind to start to accept that there is a different way of looking at things which can only be an improvement. It’s not just positive thinking…it’s so much more, think rewiring the mind for success. Talking to yourself this way is really powerful and works better than you can possibly imagine.
Maintaining a positive mindset
The benefits of a positive mindset are numerous. I am sure that between us both, over that frothy cappuccino, we could list over a 100...maybe even a 1000.
"I would have more time...feel centred...look fab... sound awesome...feel phenomenal".
Now, why wouldn't you want that? What could possibly affect this exciting way of thinking. YOU! Sorry I didn’t mean to spell it out like that, I was trying to be a little more subtle… soz, soz, soz. It was never your fault...somebody will have to make it right. So, some of us may start looking externally for the answers. Is there any point on building on this at this point? No, there isn’t.
BUT! it’s not our fault that we learnt how to develop a mindset which holds us back. AND THAT...is where we will take a stance.
Supermarkets separate us from our hard-earned cash through enticing, subtle marketing strategies and compelling psychological influencers. i.e., whatever it takes to keep us in the store. For instance, you may observe that fresh flowers are at the front and the milk and eggs are at the back (enjoy the tour).
What about the school system...this tends to reflect what skills are needed in the economy to make the country grow but how many of us were taught in maths to use hotels instead of apples … remember? If you dropped one apple how many would you have left? Or if you sold one hotel.. kind of thing.
So, back to the task at hand... maintaining a positive mindset!
If you recorded your internal chatter, what do you think you would hear? and interestingly, how many times would that get repeated. Two or three times maybe? more? I think lots more, but different amounts for different people who are at different stages of awareness. But it doesn’t really matter...the trick is having access to that awareness.
So, learning and actively using some of the above rules..."The mind responds to the words that you say and the pictures that you make in your head" and it also "does what it thinks you want it to do". In fact, "the mind does not care if what you say is good, bad, indifferent, true, false, healthy, unhealthy, right or wrong… it simply lets it in".
“We learn by repetition” ...how do you think Federer got that beautiful return of service? Straight down the line, to win him tournament after tournament. What about the Olympic and World Champion heptathlete Jessica Ennis Hill (Dame), 20 years dedicated to training to be the very best.
What about the blind man and woman who has to learn new ways seeing with their other senses.
I can hear you...I can't just say it and it is set in stone...it’s not that easy and you’re taking the micky if you think that’s all I need to do.
Can we agree that there is something which we can do...that we can take some responsibility rather than look for external answers? Can we use hotels instead of apples, can we at least make ourselves more aware of our internal dialogue and look out for the hurtful critical words we say to ourselves? I’ve got an idea...what a about a swear box...so that every time you use critical self-talk you have to put 50 pence in the tin...trust me, you won’t be able to afford it. Until you start maintaining that awareness.
...and you stick to your guns - you keep on with those flipping thoughts...you know what I mean.
A new mindset summary
Questioning what we say to ourselves then… putting the money where your mouth is (or in the tin). Accepting that we can - and need to - take responsibility of where this positive mindset is to appear. You know that we can't walk around with our heads in the clouds with rose tinted glasses and deny an event taking place around us...but, we can make a choice about how we let the emotions and feelings around an event affect us. We have to give permission to allow somebody or something to affect us. WE therefore...have a choice to rewire how we communicate with ourselves.
We accept that some of us need help to do this...and that is why we do what we do. Rapid Transformational Therapy helps to find the root cause of the overwhelming critical voice causing issues, reframes and transforms. It is a really powerful way to spring forward to a new mindset. Book a discovery call if you’d like to know more. https://alrayhypnotherapy.17hats.com/p#/scheduling/rkncrwrcffpwbkpdxvttcrrbrwwkbxvt