So, we are now well into another new year… Christmas seems like a distant memory and there are little signs around us that Spring is on the way (despite the snow). For a few years now though, since our son went to live in China, I also see February as new year time too.
Did you make any new year’s resolutions?
If so, how are they going? Are they too, a distant memory now? You might be thinking “what is Alison rambling on about?”
My point is that we as human beings like to follow patterns or rituals handed down to us over many, many generations. Often without even stopping to think about why we do them or the actual relevance of them in our current lives and situations right now.
I feel that the new year’s resolution is one of those rituals. How many times have you heard the saying “New Year, New You?” It’s a kind of programming. As though on the stroke of midnight on the 31st of December we all have the chance to change anything about ourselves or our situation that we’re not happy with.
It’s kind of like getting a new exercise book at school to write in… it’s all nice, clean, blank lines to write on… it feels kind of special… we want to make that first page perfect. If we do make a mistake, the urge to rip the page out and start again is immense. We can’t have a big scribbled out bit on the first page!
The new year kind of feels like a blank page or canvas, with no mistakes on it…it will be different, we will be different somehow. The problem with this, as I see it, is that it actually isn’t any different and if we mess up, we can’t wait until the next year to change things. If we do that, then life slips us by.
Why can’t every day feel like starting a new page?
It is after all exactly the same. We go to sleep at night…regenerate and rejuvenate our bodies, file away the events of the previous day and wake up ready to start a new day all over again. So, looking at things this way, every day is a new start.
This can help us to think and see things differently too. How many times have you started something, not achieved what you wanted and given up? I used to have this a lot around food, I’d say things like “I shouldn’t have eaten that big dessert, a whole chocolate bar, 10 bags of crisps – I’ve wrecked my diet so I might as well enjoy the weekend and I’ll start again on Monday (see link below for my weight loss story and relationship with food).
Or started learning something new and been really enthusiastic at the start but when it gets a bit more challenging, find excuses not to do it, until weeks have gone by and you say to yourself “it’s too late now, I’ll start it again when……..” (fill in the blank).
We always seem to plan to make a change but why wait?
We can start the next minute, the next second. Every time you to take another step its something new so we don’t have to wait for a specific time, place, event to happen to change something. We can change it in an instant with our thoughts.
Our mind does what it thinks that we want it to do. It does this by the words we say and pictures we make. When we hold conflicting thoughts our minds really don’t know what to do because it gets different messages constantly so it picks up the thoughts that are the most prominent and runs with them thinking that that is what we want.
An example of this thinking is…I love Pizza, the smell, the way the cheese strings away as I bite into it, the taste and texture of it. I could eat it all day it’s so nice. Then the conflicting thought…I want to fit into my jeans so I need to stop eating pizza all the time as I know it’s not that good for me. You’ve told your mind two very different things about Pizza – which one will your mind pick up on?
If we want to make changes, we have to be really specific and honest with ourselves. What do we want to change? why do we want to change? If the ‘why’ makes sense and is valid and reasonable we are in a good place to start. If the ‘why’ is not strong and doesn’t really feel right there really isn’t any point trying to change as it’s not going to get past the first hurdle.
A good example of this is… “I want to cut down on drinking because it’s costing me a fortune and my partner really wants me to stop.” The ‘why’ is not strong enough to prolong the desire to stop.
If the ‘why’ was… “I want to cut down drinking because I am fed up of feeling groggy and tired all the time and not being able to concentrate and think straight.” You’ve got a much higher chance of achieving it as the desire is much stronger because it is actually affecting your life on a day-to-day basis.
Once we have a strong enough ‘why’ our minds can become focused on what we want and actually help us to achieve it. It starts off with a feeling of will power but becomes much more when our mind is giving us the help we need.
It then forms a habit. Habits are our minds way of giving us what it thinks we want, so forming habits that benefit us, really help. Repetition is the way to form strong habits. Our minds really love repetition.
Knowing how the mind works explains an awful lot about why we fail to finish what we start, make excuses to ourselves about why we are not doing this, that or the other. It’s not really our fault, it’s the way we have been programmed and the way that we continually give ourselves unclear instructions with our thoughts.
So how can we make changes and achieve what we want in our lives?
We need to change our minds…simple!
I know… easier said than done.
Start by taking little steps to begin with… giving your mind positive words and pictures. This can be very effective as our minds are so used to us being critical all the time. Talk to yourself like you talk to your best friend, with words of encouragement and praise. Picture yourself achieving what you want to achieve and looking the way you want to look.
This can take time to do…the more you practise the easier it becomes. You soon start to recognise when you’re not saying kind things to yourself and you can quickly turn your language around. You may also start to pick up and recognise how other people talk to themselves often with criticism and negativity.
By changing how we think and feel about ourselves we can start to reprogram some of those old patterns and rituals that are buried deep in our subconscious mind.
So just to recap…Every day, every hour, every minute is a new start…no need to wait for new year, new you and new year’s resolutions.
Hypnotherapy is a great way to fast-track this process.
Being in a lovely relaxed state (a bit like when you are almost asleep or just waking up) you have a direct link to your subconscious mind. Positive suggestions and commands sink in easily and effortlessly allowing your mind to carry out whatever it is you want it to do.
If you would like to find out more about how Hypnotherapy and Rapid Transformational Therapy can kick start the changes that you would like to make in your life… get in touch and we can have a chat.
Alison Mortimer 10/02/21
This is the link where I share how I changed my relationship with food. https://www.alrayhypnotherapy....